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Characters
A list of everyone pictured in the game, starting with characters with friendship meters which go from 0 - 100 (0 to 10 hearts). Friendship can be increased by working in jobs with that character, by -
Garrison
Security squads and the Sportsball pitch. Includes the Walls around the Colony. Here on Vertumna the garrison has expanded fast. They're building a huge wall around the colony, and have an outdoor firing range -
I Was a Teenage Exocolonist Wiki
Welcome to the official wiki for I Was a Teenage Exocolonist, the narrative life simulator where your memories are cards and your friends are aliens and hot dogboys. Featuring 833 story events, 276 collectible cards -
Cal
Recalcitrance - Description: Physically strong boy who isn't afraid to get in touch with his emotions. Pacifist, loves animals., Aliases: Cal, Color: Green#BEF7C7, Associated Location: Geoponics, Species: Human, Gender: Male, Pronouns: he/him, Augment -
Xenos
Animals of Vertumna are often referred to as xenofauna or simply "xenos", especially by those whose job it is to hunt them. They tend to be larger than animals on Earth, and many of them -
Jobs
"Jobs" include taking specialized classes at school, relaxing in various ways, exploring outside the colony, and a few special case activities. Most non-explore jobs require winning a quick single-round card challenge to -
Tangent
Introduction Childhood -
Anemone
Anemone - Description: Energetic girl who loves sports. Stubbornly loyal to her friends and the colony., Aliases: Annie Nem Nemmie, Color: Orange#FFC6B2, Associated Location: Garrison, Species: Human, Gender: Female, Pronouns: she/her, Augment: Armor-scaled -
Vace
Olivaceous - Description: Tough, serious older boy from the Heliopause. Never hesitates to defend others and be the hero., Aliases: Vace Lieutenant Olivaceous, Color: Red#FFBBC8, Associated Location: Garrison, Species: Human, Gender: Male, Pronouns: he/him -
Nomi-Nomi
Nomination - Description: Quirky nonbinary kid from the Heliopause. They never seem to get things right, but their enthusiasm sees them through., Aliases: Nomi-Nomi, Color: Light purple#F9D6FF, Associated Location: Living Quarters, Species: Human, Gender -
Tammy
Aspartame - Description: Sweet, down to earth girl who prefers to stay close to home and care for others. Honest and unselfconscious., Aliases: Tammy, Color: Yellow#FFF9B2, Associated Location: Living Quarters, Species: Human, Gender: Female, Pronouns -
Marz
Marzipan - Description: Fierce and fiery girl with big dreams of success. Loves to be in charge so don't get in her way., Aliases: Marz, Color: Blue#C7F0FF, Associated Location: Command, Species: Human, Gender: Female -
Dys
Dysthymia - Description: Withdrawn boy, a loner and awkward around other people. Often sneaks away to who knows where., Aliases: Dys, Color: Light orange#FFDFB7, Associated Location: Expeditions, Species: Human, Gender: Male, Pronouns: he/him, Augment -
Sym
Symbiosis - Description: Mysterious man who appears when you need him most. He calls himself a'Gardener' and is fascinated by humans., Aliases: Sym, Color: Light yellow#FFFFDB, Associated Location: Outside, Species: Gardener, Gender: Male, Pronouns -
Rex
Basorexia - Description: Adorable boy from the Heliopause. More interested in flirting than working, but he's fun to be around., Aliases: Rex, Color: Teal#9CFFE9, Associated Location: Command, Species: Human, Gender: Male, Pronouns: he/him -
Command
The bridge and offices where the Governor works and the Council meets. Also the storage depot and construction center. Command is a warren of long hallways with doors off to tiny nondescript offices. -
Stories
There are over 800 story events in Exocolonist (and 600,000 words of text), each one a short series of text and choices with various effects. They fall into several categories: These events happen at -
Valley of Vertigo
The Valley of Vertigo is a low-lying trench to the east that's dense with pollen-producing trees. There's a wide variety of edible food here - both plant and animal product - leading to -
Prosaic Plains
The Prosaic Plains lie far to the north of the colony, where the higher elevation and natural tilt of the planet makes bromidic snow fall more regularly in every season. Though prone to sudden storm -
Engineering
Engineering is an interactive building repurposed from the Stratospheric crashed ship. The Stratospheric engine room provides power to the Colony. -
Wresting Ridges
This tongue-twisting region is the broken spine of the planet, home to both dizzying heights and abyssal lows. It's always hot and arid here no matter the season. Traversing these steep chasms is -
Living Quarters
The Stratospheric private suites and bedrooms, community lounges, cafeteria, and the childrens' creche. -
Subaqueous Swamp
To the south is a vast boggy wilderness, home to dangerous animals and hazardous weather conditions. Exploration in this area is only to be done with extreme caution. -
Stratospheric
Earth's first colony ship. It embarked on a twenty year voyage to a wormhole at the edge of the Sol system. Animals are expressly forbidden on the Stratospheric. -
Tutorials
Tutorial messages will pop up when you do actions for the first time at the start of a new game. They can be disabled from the settings menu. Previously seen messages including scoring rules for
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